The Stunning Ria Turner Shares her Unique Perspective on Perfectionism in Our Society

In her first interview with Manifest Easy, Ria sheds her beautiful light on the topics of emotions, being ‘soft’ as a woman, her journey with planet medicine, and her perspective on perfectionism is that of staying true and authentic to yourself.

Ria’s Age: 26

Her Current location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

Ria’s Profession: Eyelash Extension Technician

Instagram Username: @riaturner

What makes you feel most connected to your femininity?

“I feel at my best and connected to my femininity when I am honoring myself. And by honoring myself I mean really getting into a flow state where I am slowing myself down for a little bit and listening to my body.

I feel most connected to my femininity when I allow myself to honor emotions and the thoughts that flow through me. I think it’s courageous and beautiful to be able to look inside yourself and observe whats going on.

My femininity resides in my playfulness my sensuality. My softness, and my adaptability.”

What outfit do you feel most sexy in?

” I feel most COMFORTABLE when when I am nakey nakey.

Tight pants and clothes feel like a second skin I can’t breathe in, and anything baggy gets in the way of everything. Either way both are restricting.

This question is honestly a bit hard for me to think up of an answer, but for some reason I have always loved the look of thigh high socks. With or without anything else. Maybe a toque.

Naked with socks an a toque. And hoop earrings make me feel like a bad ass bitch. Slap a spray tan on me and douse me in body shimmer and i’m feeling SO FRESH!!”

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Has anyone ever judged you for showing your more feminine, emotional side? How did you deal with that?

“ALL THE TIME!! Ever since I can remember I’ve been told how much I wear my heart on my sleeve. I hear people say all the time “you’re just too sensitive” or “you need to stop being so sensitive”. 

For a while I felt a lot of shame about it and those thoughts still creep up on me from time to time. Being emotional does not make you any less capable than anybody else. It shouldn’t make you less desirable than anyone else and it doesn’t make you any less strong or any less useful.

The more I have listened to other women talk about this the more I am finding strength and beauty in being able to be vulnerable and raw with myself and WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

Crying is not bad. Emotions are not bad. They just “are”.

This shouldn’t seem like a taboo thing either. Why is this something to be ashamed of when it’s literally part of our nature as human beings? If you got to let some shit out, allow it. Then we can move on – right?
I feel like crying, laughing, singing, swearing, are the bodies natural way of allowing an emotion to be released. Nobody wants to be suppressing their emotions to the point they are coming out in unhealthy ways or coming out at the wrong time.

It’s not good for your body and its not good for your mind! A therapist I was seeing a few years ago told me how emotions like anger and sadness are necessary. These powerful emotions are guiding us to make change.

Tears are healing. Tears are healthy. How do you expect to heal if you can’t allow yourself to feel? It takes strength to allow yourself to feel. I think it’s a beautiful thing and I want to thank myself for having the courage to stay soft.”

At what point in your life did you start to really step into your femininity and the divinity that comes with that?

“This probably all began after I separated from a lot of my high school acquaintances and began travelling, but has mostly become a topic of interest in the last few years.

After I started experimenting with different plant medicines, I opened up a portal within myself and have been exploring it ever since. To be honest though I have always felt like a free flowing lady and I just love feeling all up in my feminine.”

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What’s your favorite self-care ritual?

“Discipline is the greatest form of self love. 

I don’t think this needs much of an explanation. I heard that about a year ago and it has stuck with me since. It’s hard sometimes to say no if something is not serving your higher purpose but practicing this is super gratifying for me. I’m sure for everybody really.

One self care practice that has always been important though, is my independence. Doing things alone and immersing myself into situations and adventures alone is something my soul has always had a craving for.

There’s something about running away and spending a weekend alone, or going on a road trip alone just to spend time with myself that really resets my battery. When I come back from healing isolation with myself I can be of better service to myself and to others.

Feeling alone around large crowds of people is so liberating to me. I often find I can fall into habits of co dependency so spending time alone with myself helps me to reconnect my fire inside and relationship with myself. It feels SO GOOD to feel free!

If I am home, my ideal evening practicing self care includes dance and movement. Singing and swinging around my apartment. Lighting a stick of incense or a candle and writing in my journal. Laying down on the floor with one hand on my heart and one on my belly and listening. 

When feeling stressed out I used to take my kayak out to the lake and bask in between the mountains but it is heavy as shit and now that I live in the city it doesn’t get as much love. A highway drive somewhere random with the windows down and great music blasting has always been super satisfying to me.”

 What do you love most about being a woman?

“I love being a woman. Being a woman is not easy and I find so often we are struggling for our right to be assertive and to be taken seriously. It’s like we are always walking this line between feeling openly proud of who who we are and openly loving ourselves, or hiding that part of ourselves away in an effort not to offend or get a negative reaction from people.

Showing confidence and self love within yourself… saying “I AM BEAUTIFUL” too often seems to make other people uncomfortable. Men AND women alike.

But there should be no shame around this and I hope as the gears of the world keep turning women continue to rise together and fight the misogyny. Being a woman means being complex, resilient, strong, and soft all at the same time.”

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What inspires your creativity most?

“I get a lot of inspiration from other people who I admire. I have a lot of friends that are extremely creative and innovative, and they are the ones who inspire me to come back to art and try new things.

Pulling inspiration from thoughtful words from my favorite authors, and minimizing on screen time helps me tap into my creativity as well.”

How do you express your creative side?

“I like expressing this through fashion, jewelry, and hair. Anything that stands out or shows a bit of sparkle or energy or something maybe a little out of the norm. I like bright colours and approachable prints. I want to be seen as a positive and approachable being. I want to feel like a safe and non judgmental space for people around me.

I find through my job I am also able to express myself creatively. Through eyelash extensions I’m able to play around with customized looks according to what my client is looking for.

Playing around with different styles and shapes to get a certain look is a lot of fun and I get to add my own flare to it.”

Women are intuitive beings by nature. What’s one instance where you’ve felt called to really tap into your intuition and listen to that voice inside of you?

“All the time… I feel like I constantly aim to trust the intuition and gut feelings I have, and I am learning that that feelings needs to be heard and it needs to be trusted. No matter how convincing the situation or individual may be. Because more often than not I find that my intuition was right all along.

I find that it’s really easy for me to put myself in other people’s shoes. To my best ability I believe that people are speaking their truth. In many situations I find myself striving to be humble and biting my tongue. But when I do not trust in myself I usually find I lead myself astray.”

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Women have an intrinsic trait where we tend to avoid confrontation, and handle issues passively. Because of this, we can often manipulate the situation and get our way without fighting. What’s one time that you’ve seen this trait show through you?

“I am fully aware of how I may handle issues “passively” but that is something I try to overcome. I am working on speaking my truth, emotion aside, with a calm and level head.

I do not think conversations or emotions should be “passive”. As long as we aren’t pointing fingers and we are leaving our accusations at the door maturely, we can come to an honest solution without any heat.”

When did you really start to feel confident in yourself? Was there a specific moment or event that caused you to embrace yourself with love and step into confidence?

“I had a really powerful moment in Costa Rica alongside two powerful, amazing women. I think I was 20 or 21 and I had never even been topless in front of a friend, or even a partner. We were dancing and playing in the ocean and all let our titties out in the sunshine.

As silly as it seems, it was a massive stepping stone for me which included tears and some laughter but I will never forget that moment. It was something I had been so scared to do for so long, but put me on a path towards self acceptance. I don’t know exactly what changed from that point forward but I found confidence, love, and acceptance for who I was. 

And to follow up with that memory: I have grown a lot since then and I have really gotten to love myself and accept myself the way that I am.

In December 2019 I finally got the breast augmentation I had been saving up for since 2011. I was confident in myself before and I am confident in myself today.

It was a long hard struggle to get there but to be honest, I am happy that I worked through it. I just wanted to feel more feminine, more womanly, more sensual. I wanted to have some nice soft titties that fill up a bra nicely and it’s as simple as that.”

Was there a time you ever doubted yourself? And how did you overcome your doubt?

“I still struggle with doubting myself, every day. I’m not going to lie and say I found some magical elixir that gave me eternal confidence, because I struggle every day with wondering if I am making the right decisions.

I’m always questioning myself and wondering if i am doing the right thing. I think it’s important to listen to your gut and intuition of all things, although it can be a constant battle between the head and the heart.

I think I lean a little too close to what my heart wants but as I gain more life experience I’m learning that the easy thing may not always be the right thing. And I am also trying to be super aware of myself and to no longer “bandaid” my issues and allow myself to feel through them, alone!

I know that I am an honest and positive person. I believe that as long as I am showing my true and authentic colors, whether someone likes me or not this is something that people can see beneath the surface. That’s enough for me. If not, it’s probably unlikely that they’re in my circle of friends and family – so why does it matter anyway?”

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As women, we are too often told we need to change the way we look, and the media and beauty industries can pick on our insecurities. How do you like to honor your body and remind yourself how beautiful and perfect you are? 

“First of all, when it comes to media, or social media, I only follow things that serve my higher purpose. What I mean by that is that I don’t put my energy into anything that makes me feel bad about myself and I only follow accounts that inspire me or educate me about the things I am interested in.

I have never understood why so many people are causing themselves unnecessary suffering by following or checking up on people from their past they don’t like.

I honor myself and my feelings by keeping real, inspirational, and educational people in my circle. Perfectionism is a personal thing. I don’t think that i strive for perfection because I don’t believe perfection should be ones goal.

What is perfect is the individuality of being your own unique self.”

What advice would you give to a young girl who isn’t confident in her body and femininity yet?

“I remember struggling with mean things other kids said to me in highschool… Those words still stick with me today – I’m not upset anymore but I don’t think I will ever forget them.

I’m more so upset at my younger self for taking them so personally like as if it was the end of the world.

At that age it kind of is your entire world because middle school and high school is such a big deal. Being surrounded and pressured by so many of your peers who had no idea how much words can hurt.

I mean, I sure didn’t. Now that I have spent time reflecting, I’m able to understand that when people say unkind things it can often stem from pain or insecurity within themselves.”

Women are naturally highly sensitive beings, and we deeply feel our emotions. How do you honor your emotions and give yourself space to feel?

“Holding space for yourself means allowing yourself to go through your emotions without judgement. Sometimes I find crying a ceremonious thing. It takes strength to be vulnerable. Otherwise these issues will just be suppressed and will produce unhealthy habits.”

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As women, and divine feminine beings, we’re given the precious ability to create life. In our society, we’re told we need to be mothers and raise a family. While having the incredible ability to create life and give birth, not every woman decides to become a mom, and that’s okay. What are your thoughts on this topic? How do you feel about being able to create the most precious thing on earth – life itself?

“This is such a massive question I don’t even know if I can answer to my fullest ability..

IF I lived in another country. Or maybe on an island off the coast.

IF I did more extensive research on hypno and home birthing…

IF I got my shit together and figured out a healthy meal plan for myself and my babies = and I’m talking homegrown, mostly plant based recipes…

IF I was willing to homeschool my babies.

I know I am 100% capable of all of these things but is this really my life’s purpose?
If  I was so honored to create new life I would absolutely dedicate my entire being to raising a little one.

I have already done a lot of research on home and hypno-birthing and for some reason have always found it VERY fascinating. But I would 100% put any of my ambitions aside to put my baby first and spend all my time trying to love and care of it.

I have never felt as though my life’s purpose was to be a mother as a lot of women do. But if I was in the right circumstance I think it would be a beautiful thing.

However I worry that I would love my baby so hard I would throw all my goals and aspirations out the window and would possibly find resentment in that…
But I imagine myself sometimes as a mother. I would be the best mama ever.”

The divine feminine energy within you is inherently strongly connected to nature – Mother Earth. What is your favorite way to spend time in nature and honor Mother Earth?

“Grounding; literally spreading dirt on your body and then jumping into natural water. Or hugging a big, fat, wet tree. Or laying on a big, fat, hot rock.”

As women, we are the embodiment of Divine Feminine energy, but we also have Divine Masculine energy within us. Do you often feel like you have more feminine energy than masculine, or vice versa? How does the energy that you think is most dominant within you often express itself through you? 

“Although both masculine and feminine energy resides in all of us, I feel as though im very in touch with my feminine and surrendering to the flow of the universe. She expresses herself through movement, adaptability, and compassion.”

Follow Ria’s journey on Instagram: @riaturner