Spirituality
Jessica Shares With Us How She Tapped Into Her Divine Power After One of the Darkest Moments in Her Life
In her first interview with Manifest Easy, Jessica shares with us her story that’s shaped her into the amazing, empathetic and inspiring woman that she is today.
Jessica’s Age: 27 years old
Her Current location: Utah, United States
Jessica’s Profession: Accountant, Psychology Major, Personal Trainer
Instagram Username: @lovvejessica
What makes you feel most connected to your femininity?
“The biggest thing that makes me feel most connected to my femininity would be my emotional, mental, physical, and financial independence. I do not rely any other person except myself to take care of me.
I think this gives me such a sense of security and happiness; I feel like I can accomplish anything!
Being completely independent forces me to take full responsibility for my life and dreams, when I succeed or fail I have nobody to credit for it but myself.”
What outfit do you feel most sexy in?
“I am very girly, so I absolutely LOVE getting dressed up for a night out with my girls in a fun mini or midi dress.
I will say that no matter what I wear, it is necessary for me to be fully comfortable! Wearing something that either doesn’t fit right or is not comfortable even if it looks sexy, doesn’t make me feel sexy so I will not wear it!”
Has anyone ever judged you for showing your more feminine, emotional side? How did you deal with that?
“I feel as a women, society expects us to fit into a very confined box emotionally. If you are a women and you express too much emotion, you’re labeled as “irrational” or “crazy”.
If you don’t express enough, emotional people may think you don’t have that caring or “motherly” instinct.
I feel like often times in life – specifically with men – I run into the problem of being told I am overreacting for letting them know how something they have said or done makes me feel.
As far as dealing with it, I simply don’t. If a man or any person for that matter isn’t willing or able to try and understand my feelings or emotions, then they probably just aren’t meant to be in my life. Anyone who really cares for you will always do their best to understand.”
At what point in your life did you start to really step into your femininity and the divinity that comes with that?
[trigger warning, sexual assault/rape]
“It was a few months after New Years of 2017. I was about 24 years old. I was living in San Diego, renting a room from my ex fiancé because I couldn’t afford my own apartment and didn’t have any of my own friends at the time.
I was very dependent on him financially and emotionally. It is safe to say that I was incredibly lost in life – I had no direction.
For New Years I decided to go on a date (Tinder – this is why I do not recommend it). I drove up to Oceanside, CA and we went to a bar, Cabos, for some drinks and tacos. My date had offered to go to the bar and order our drinks… the bar is not busy and I remember finding it odd how long it took him to come back, then I noticed he had disappeared.
He finally came back and continued our date, it seemed to be going well I remember I was having a fun time. Unfortunately I do not remember much after that. I have some faded images in my head of what happened next, but I won’t get into the details.
The next clear memory I remember is being woken up in the dirt of military barracks by a marine that was on duty. He asked me if I was ok and instructed that I needed to leave immediately. I explained that I was unsure where I was and that I did not have my car. He was very kind and helped me get off of the base and even called an Uber/Lyft for me.
I got back to my car and eventually got myself home. I was violently ill for about two days. I had been drugged and raped.
The next few months were awful. I was in and out of doctors offices and hospitals and on and off of medication. I got so depressed I couldn’t handle it anymore and was ready to end my life.
I’m not sure what exactly changed, I just know I looked at my dog (he is my baby) and I realized if I was gone nobody would take care of him. He needed me, even if it was only him, someone needed me.
I decided it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself, and it was absolutely time to stop relying on men or anyone for that matter.
From that day on every single action I took or decision I made was to better my life and to make me a stronger woman. I wanted to use my experience to help others, but I couldn’t do that unless i pulled myself together and set a positive example for others.”
What’s your favorite self-care ritual?
“My absolute favorite self-care ritual is running myself a bath, dropping Dr. Teals in the warm water, pouring myself some wine and relaxing.
After that I will watch my favorite Harry Potter movie and then get some good sleep!”
What do you love most about being a woman?
“I LOVE being a woman. I love being a woman because I truly believe we are the toughest group of people on the planet.
I love pushing boundaries and proving people wrong, even proving myself wrong. I love how I personally am able to be so feminine, yet so strong… as this is not a social norm for much of the world.”
What inspires your creativity most?
“I definitely feel that I am most inspired my other women. I see all of their beautiful accomplishments and it makes me want to be the best woman I can be.”
How do you express your creative side?
“I am not very artsy, but I would say I express myself through writing and just simply sharing my experiences and story with others. I love to help people so I try to do so any way I can.”
Women are intuitive beings by nature. What’s one instance where you’ve felt called to really tap into your intuition and listen to that voice inside of you?
“I feel whenever I am around another sexual or domestic assault survivor… I can just tell. I can see it in their face and eyes, and I just know I want to do anything I can for them to be as supportive as possible.”
Women have an intrinsic trait where we tend to avoid confrontation, and handle issues passively. Because of this, we can often manipulate the situation and get our way without fighting. What’s one time that you’ve seen this trait show through you?
“This one is definitely a harder question for me to answer. I try to really be mindful of my thoughts and actions in life and be as up front and honest as possible.
I work hard to be a direct person as a whole – a no-bs type of woman. I feel that I personally have gotten better results in my conversations and situations when I am more direct.”
When did you really start to feel confident in yourself? Was there a specific moment or event that caused you to embrace yourself with love and step into confidence?
“I started to feel confident once I started setting small goals and I began reaching them!”
Was there a time you ever doubted yourself? And how did you overcome your doubt?
“I doubted myself when I was first fully on my own in California. I felt like I was failing and disappointing myself and my family.
I simply kept going, pushed through and believed in myself!”
As women, we are too often told we need to change the way we look, and the media and beauty industries can pick on our insecurities. How do you like to honor your body and remind yourself how beautiful and perfect you are?
“It is definitely hard at times to have a good self image as a woman when media and society are showing you all things that are considered imperfect on the female body.
Personally, I choose to surround myself with supportive, strong, beautiful women. I also feel it is important to never think negative thoughts about other women or their bodies (yes this includes celebrities who seem to have no imperfection) because no woman ever became stronger by bringing others down.
I know I give my 110% into every aspect of my life, and because of this I feel secure and confident in myself.”
What advice would you give to a young girl who isn’t confident in her body and femininity yet?
“The best advice I can give to any young woman reading this is to believe in yourself. If you feel like believing in yourself is difficult, just take everything with a grain of salt.
Take everything one day at a time and remember nobody gained any success overnight. Remember that people will try and bring you down and you will be told no a million times before you are told yes.
Don’t listen to those no’s. Sometimes the ‘no’ may even come from people close to you.
Find a strong group of good positive women to surround yourself with, and never give up on yourself. Lastly, remember that you are the only you there is in this world, and this makes you beautiful and unique.”
Women are naturally highly sensitive beings, and we deeply feel our emotions. How do you honor your emotions and give yourself space to feel?
“I am a introvert, so I always make sure I have at least one hour to myself at the end of the day. I use this time to just decompress and relax.
If I ever feel strong emotions throughout the day, I make sure I don’t react until I have had time to relax. I think this is necessary for me to be the best person I can be.”
As women, and divine feminine beings, we’re given the precious ability to create life. In our society, we’re told we need to be mothers and raise a family. While having the incredible ability to create life and give birth, not every woman decides to become a mom, and that’s okay. What are your thoughts on this topic? How do you feel about being able to create the most precious thing on earth – life itself?
“I think a woman should be able to do whatever she wants. Personally, I would love to be a mother. But I only want this if it is with the right man because I refuse to settle.
Some women simply do not want to be mothers which is okay! Whatever a woman would like to do, she should do.
Women do not need permission to make their own decisions.“
The divine feminine energy within you is inherently strongly connected to nature – Mother Earth. What is your favorite way to spend time in nature and honor Mother Earth?
“I absolutely love hiking. Hiking is a way for me to feel peace within myself and also give me the chance to admire the nature and world around me.”
As women, we are the embodiment of Divine Feminine energy, but we also have Divine Masculine energy within us. Do you often feel like you have more feminine energy than masculine, or vice versa? How does the energy that you think is most dominant within you often express itself through you?
“I feel like I have more feminine energy. I think feminism is often expressed through my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
I love being feminine and being a feminist!”
Follow Jessica’s journey on Instagram: @lovvejessica
